The 40 Factor

The 40 Factor's New Home

2010-05-10T04:04:00.009-04:00

We've outgrown our space.

The 40 Factor is trying out a new home.

With all of your favorites, The 40 Factor features:

Blog @ The 40 Factor

40 and Fabulous: Success and Inspiring 40-Somethings

Quick and Easy Recipes

Your Career

Life Happens

More to come soon . . .

For more information about The 40 Factor,

contact lisa-michelle@the40factor.com.

See you at www.the40factor.com!

40 and Single

2010-05-05T05:52:00.007-04:00

Where do 40-somethings go to meet someone special?

It seems that the trend is to search for one’s soul mate online. There’s a vast amount of dating sites, and each one claims to have made more matches or marriages. So, it’s hard to choose.

We all probably know some people who even has listings on several sites. And, why not? If they want to spend their money and time that way.

I’m not sure if online dating — or meeting — is for me. I recently signed up for one site and am very disappointed.

Men closer to my parents’ age than mine are the ones who are contacting me, and the ones who are my age are . . . um . . . well . . . how do I say this? . . . Um . . . I’ll be nice and just say . . . weird.

Maybe it’s because I’ve passed the big 4 – 0, maybe it’s because I’m not a size 4 (or even 12), maybe I’m just not what the normal guys are looking for, or maybe the normal guys aren’t dating online. I don’t know.

I’d like to meet someone. Someone special. Someone who will sweep me off my feet — and rock my world for the rest of my life.

I don’t think I’m going to meet him in cyberspace. So . . . I have a few ideas for things to do, but I’m open to suggestions.

How do you suggest 40-somethings meet someone special?

And, since I’ve already put it out there . . . Here's my deal:

SWJF, 40.3, 5' 3", plump (get over it), fun, funny, smart, intense, romantic, down-to-earth, avid Yankees fan, and occasional pain in the tuchas; likes spending time with friends and family, hiking, walking, traveling, baking, cooking, reading, writing, painting, craft making, animals, music, shows, concerts, movies, and beaches; and definitely wants to adopt . . . seeks soul mate (who needs not share the same likes).

NO:

Marrieds
Perverts
Wackos
Hookups
Under 38s
Over 45s
Vegetarians
Right-Wing Fanatics
Left-Wing Fanatics
Control Freaks
Cat Lovers (Sorry, I'm extremely allergic.)

If you know a potential soul mate, have him contact me at lisa-michelle@the40factor.com.

He loves me... He loves me not...

2010-05-03T19:40:00.005-04:00

He loves me... He loves me not... He loves me... He loves me not.... He loves me.... He loves me not...

He loves me... He loves me not... He loves me... He loves me not.... He loves me.... He loves me not... He loves me... He loves me not... He loves me... He loves me not.... He loves me.... He loves me not...

He loves me... He loves me not... He loves me... He loves me not.... He loves me.... He loves me not...

He loves me... He loves me not... He loves me... He loves me not.... He loves me.... He loves me not... He loves me... He loves me not...

He loves me not... He loves me not... He loves me not... He loves me not... He loves me not...

I'm not June Carter. He's not Johnny Cash.

He loves me not...

No daisies were harmed in the writing of this blog.

Mom, Leader, Work-In-Progress, 41: Debbie Rutherford

2010-04-28T05:00:00.000-04:00

40 and Fabulous: Successful and Inspiring 40 Somethings

Mom, Leader, Work-In-Progress, 41: Debbie Rutherford

Get ready to meet another extraordinary 40-something, who not only inspires her peers, but also the next generation. Balancing her busy lifestyle, she’s working, raising a family, and leading Girl Scouts to live responsibly, give back to the community, and achieve remarkable results.

Debbie Rutherford lives in Farmingville, New York, with her husband of 16 years, Mike; 10-year old daughter, Victoria; 9-year old son, Mike Jr.; two dogs; and 12 cats, if you count the stray that stays in their garage or a backyard doghouse when the weather is bad.

When I learned about Rutherford’s work with the Girl Scouts, I was very impressed. The educational programs and community-service projects were interesting and inspiring. I could easily see how she turned the Girl Scouts of Suffolk County mission — to build girls of courage, confidence, and character who make the world a better place — into a fun and meaningful experience.

Through her outstanding dedication to today's youth, Rutherford is sharing her knowledge and compassion — shaping future leaders and responsible, caring citizens.

Why did you become involved with the Girl Scouts?

Five years ago, a friend mentioned she was starting a Brownies troop and asked Victoria if she wanted to join. When she did, they needed a fundraising mom, so I became one of those involved moms. A few months later, my friend had to move, because her husband's job moved him upstate. She asked me to take over as co-leader. so I did and kept that position for another year. When the leader could no longer do it, I took over as leader and have been troop leader for three years now. Two years ago, the Service Unit Coordinator, the woman who runs the whole unit, finished her three-year term and asked me to step up. I was appointed and am in my second year along with a co-coordinator.

Tell me about your work with the Girl Scouts.

Where do I start? It's the most exhausting but fulfilling thing I've ever had the pleasure of doing. My Junior troop is made up of 11 girls in fifth and sixth grades, and I try to teach them as many valuable life-lessons I can while making it fun. We do numerous community-service projects, and they earn proficiency badges on a variety of subjects. Some of my girls are currently working on their Bronze Award service project, where they are collecting school supplies — crayons, pens, pencils, art supplies, story books for grades K through 8 — to send to a newly built school in a small village in Uganda. They came up with this idea on their own after making murals in art class for an organization called BULA, Better Understanding of Life in Africa, which was actually started by a former Girl Scout from Bayport, Long Island.

I was very impressed to learn from you about the Operation:Cookie. What’s it all about? When did it start? Do you have an idea how many boxes of cookies have been delivered through it?

Thanks to the support of generous Long Islanders, the Girl Scouts of Suffolk County have collected and sent more than two million Girl Scout Cookies to U.S. troops overseas and in military hospitals through Operation:Cookie. The next shipment of cookies will be carried overseas by the USS New York from the Naval Station of Norfolk, Virginia. This is the ship that was commissioned in November 2009 and incorporates steel salvaged from the site of the World Trade Center in its construction. The Girl Scouts of Suffolk County has partnered with the military and other agencies to distribute the cookies. Last year, the cookies reached those in Iraq, Afghanistan, the Red Sea, the Bethesda Naval Hospital, and Walter Reed Medical Center.

Read more about Operation:Cookie.

How does it feel to positively influence today's youth?

I love having the ability to influence today's kids. Sometimes it's an overwhelming feeling, because I just want to do it right and not make any mistakes. When I know I've gotten through to one of my girls, I share their pride and in their accomplishments as well.

With such a busy lifestyle, what do you do to unwind or relax?

I don't get much down-time, but when I do, it's usually late at night, so I end my day by playing on the computer in some virtual world farming or looking for critters.

What else do you like to do for fun?

I love to go to the movies, whether it's with my kids or just by myself.

What's the most satisfying aspect of your life today?

Aside from being a mom and watching my kids grow into people I am proud of, being a Girl Scout leader comes in a close second. It's like having more kids to mold into future adults and to be proud of.

What did turning 40 mean to you?

Turning 39 forced me to take stock of my life and made me realize I had to change some things before I hit the big 4 - 0. Most birthdays didn't bother me, but this one did. I started to actually feel old. It might have had something to do with the extra weight I was carrying around. I decided to have bariatric surgery and took all the steps to give myself the best 40th birthday present I could think of — my life back. I spent the 6 months leading up to this birthday, not dwelling on the number, but looking forward to the surgery two months after it and what it would mean to me. On the day of my birthday, I woke up, realized I was 40 and actually said to myself, ‘Okay, you woke up. One thing crossed off the to-do list.’

What advice do you have for people in their 40s?

I have always believed that you are only as old as you act. Much to my husband's annoyance, I definitely do not act my age. As long as I feel young, I'm going to be young. I have plenty of time to be old — I'm in no rush!

If you could do one thing with the “Click” remote, what would it be?

No question about it — I would've had the backbone to tell everyone I changed my mind about going to law school, so I wouldn't have wasted thee years of my life HATING every single day. That one wrong decision caused me so many problems, brought out anxiety issues I had to face with my then-undiagnosed Anxiety Disorder, as well as huge financial issues. After I suffered a breakdown — or anxiety breakthrough as one of my doctors liked to call it to paint it in a lighter picture — I realized that the whole law school experience may have been meant to teach me something I needed to learn in such a way that I was meant to remember. Although, I thought that was a bit extreme and perhaps there was another way for me to be taught that lesson. I did find through it all that I am stronger and more determined than even I gave myself credit for.

What’s next?

Hmmm . . . I'm still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

Contact Debbie Rutherford
E-mail: dmvm4@aol.com

Learn more about the Girl Scouts at http://www.girlscouts.org/.

Don't miss future posts of 40 and Fabulous: Successful and Inspiring 40 Somethings. Stay connected — subscribe or become a Follower of The 40 Factor, or follow Lisa-Michelle on Twitter.

Specialty Cakes: Smiles and Relaxation

2010-04-24T19:40:00.023-04:00

Whenever I make a specialty cake, people ask me how I did it. At least one person asks me if I would videotape the process, and others ask me if they could join me the next time I make one.

Since it takes hours, and I'm a little camera shy at times, I think videotaping is out. I'm also not sure anyone would like to join me for the entire process. And, truth be told, I enjoy my alone time in the kitchen. It's one of my most relaxing pleasures.

So . . . How do I do it? The secret to this 40-something's success is planning. That simple. It's not only how I succeed in the kitchen, but it's also the way I do my best in all areas -- planning as much as possible, but being flexible to handle whatever comes my way.

When my god-daughter asked me to make her a "Hello Kitty Yankee Girl Cake" for her birthday, I knew this one had to be well thought out and planned to the very last detail. This took several hours researching Hello Kitty and Yankees uniforms, creating a comp, and searching for the decoration items.

Who knew it would be so difficult to find blue shoelace licorice?!? For the pinstripes, of course. Well, with some help from a good friend, I found a few potential local sources and had a out-of-town delivery backup plan.

Once I had everything I needed, I took time off from work. That's right, I took time off from work to make this cake. I needed a break to do something for myself, enjoy some peace, and regain my balance. Leisurely baking was just what I needed.

Here's what happened next:

It's all in the plan . . .

I've learned the hard way that the cakes must be completely cooled . . .

I put the cake board cover on early, so I wouldn't forget.

The cakes needed to be leveled. Don't worry, nothing was wasted.

Layering the cake with white icing by request.

It's time to give her some shape . . .

All cut out and no place to go . . .

More icing . . . of course.

Ready to become Hello Kitty.

That's all it took . . .

Hello Kitty is proud to wear her pinstripes.

Getting ready to roll out the fondant for the hat and shirt emblem . . .

She's almost there . . . She just needs her bow and hat emblem.

And her ball . . . a Lindt white chocolate truffle, which I decorated with a red food marker.

I couldn't bear to think of sticking candles in her, so she needed a brownie home-plate base.

She's ready for her first game . . .

. . . and to make my god-daughter smile.

This is where the stress begins . . . I have to make it to the car and her house without destroying it. I usually hold my breath the entire way.

So, that's it. Hope you enjoyed this sneak peak into how the Hello Kitty Yankee Girl Cake came to life.

All Stressed Out And No Place To Go

2010-04-19T05:40:00.003-04:00

What do you do when stress mounts? Before it passes your threshold?

Do you reach out for help? Take a step back and evaluate what to change? Cut yourself some slack and let others know to do the same? Find a way to relieve some of it?

Most of us do not. We allow it to grow, put our noses to the grindstone, grin and bear it, and suffer through whatever the situation may be — hoping to come out on top in the end, or just come out of it at all.

By the time we reach the big 4 – 0, our generation should know better. We’ve learned about the deadly effects of stress and have been taught — in theory — the benefits of lessening and managing stress, as well as balancing our lives with stress-relief activities.

I’ve become much better in this area, but I don’t always succeed. Last week was a good example of not doing such a good job. Sure, almost no one noticed, no one else suffered, but it took its toll.

I may not have been able to reschedule projects, or even work less hours, but I should have taken a midday break every day — not just at the beginning of the week. I should have done more for myself to alleviate the stress, Tai Chi or Yoga a couple times would have been great.

Nearing the end of the week, I was frazzled and fried. Luckily, a dear friend took notice and reminded me how even a 15-minute vacation from reality could do wonders — and it did.

Have I finally learned my lesson? I hate to say it, but I don’t know. I guess I’ll have to wait till next time to find out and get back to you.

I hereby officially declare this week to be a stress-free zone.

Brunch Anyone?

2010-04-15T05:35:00.003-04:00

Spring has sprung, and us 40-somethings have less time than ever. Even with everything going on in our busy lives, we don’t have to give up on tasty — healthy — meals. The 40 Factor’s Quick and Easy Recipes are here to save the day.

Whether you have a small brunch gathering or want to impress your special someone, you can whip us this scrumptious brunch in no time.

Quick and Easy Brunch Menu
Mimosas
Brunch Strata
Too-Good-To-Be-True Slaw
Strawberry Parfait

Quick and Easy Mimosas
1 bottle champagne
1 half-gallon orange juice

Fill half a champagne flute with champagne and top it off with orange juice. Gently stir.

Quick and Easy Brunch Strata
6 eggs
2 cups milk
½ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon white pepper
½ teaspoon dry mustard (optional)
8 slices white or wheat bread, cubed
1 onion, diced
1 pound grated cheddar cheese (or Colby)
¼ cup butter, cubed

Preheat the over to 325. Grease a 13” x 9” pan with nonstick cooking spray. Beat the eggs and whisk in the milk, salt, pepper, and mustard. Spread the bread out in the pan. Sprinkle with onion and cheese. Dot with butter cubes. Pour the egg mixture on top. Bake for 45 minutes, until golden.

Tasty Non-Kosher Alternatives: Add 1 cup diced bacon or sausage.

Tasty and Healthy Alternatives: Add 2 cups diced broccoli or mixed vegetables.

Quick and Easy Too-Good-To-Be-True Slaw
½ cup light mayonnaise
¼ cup cider vinegar
½ teaspoon celery salt
½ teaspoon white pepper
½ teaspoon salt
1 bag shredded cabbage (for cole slaw)

Mix the first five ingredients in a bowl till completely combined. Add the cabbage. Refrigerate overnight (or at least two hours) in a container or Ziploc bag. Stir or shake once or twice while refrigerating. Stir before serving.

Sweet Alternative: I don’t think it’s necessary, but if you prefer your slaw sweet, add 1 tablespoon sugar.

Quick and Easy Strawberry Parfait
2 packages sugar-free instant chocolate pudding
3 ½ cups fat-free milk
1 large container strawberries
Fat-free whipped cream
1 chocolate bar, refrigerated

Beat the milk and pudding mix till firm. Refrigerate for 30 minutes (or more). Wash, hull, and slice the strawberries. In four wine glasses, layer the parfait: pudding, strawberries, pudding, strawberries, whipped cream. Using a vegetable peeler, shave pieces of chocolate onto each parfait.

Make-It-Your-Own Alternatives: Use your favorite pudding flavor and mixed berries.

And, don’t forget my favorite Friendly and Fun Alternative — invite me over, so we can enjoy our Quick and Easy Brunch together. Happy spring!

Lancaster, Here I Come!

2010-04-11T19:19:00.001-04:00

I’m about to leave the hustle and bustle of my hectic life and go on another journey into the Amish heartland.

OK, I’m actually not that lucky. Not yet, anyway.

But, I will be immersing myself into another Beverly Lewis book — The Telling.

Even though it hit the stores on Saturday, I didn’t allow myself to open it all weekend. I knew I wouldn’t be able to put it down and nothing else would get done. I know myself too well. I even took a personal day once to finish reading one of these adventures.

What is it about Lewis’ characters and settings that appeal to me so much?

Is it just a case of feeling the grass is greener on the Amish side?

I don’t think so. I envy the simplicity of their daily lives, sense of community, understanding of responsibilities and roles, firm belief in God, appreciation for handmade crafts and homemade cooking, lack of dependence on modern technology, and carefree attitudes.

I often romanticize thoughts of living near, or even in, an Amish or Mennonite community. I see myself cooking, baking, canning, quilting, making all sorts of crafts, gardening, painting, writing, enjoying the outdoors, and spending time with my neighbors.

Naturally, in my dreams, they like having a Jewish neighbor, who can speak and teach Hebrew, and tell stories about Israel.

I’d have a car, electricity, and full indoor plumbing, of course. I’d also have a landline, mobile phone, Internet, and satellite TV or a local cable provider (to make sure I can watch at least 162 New York Yankees games each year). All of these luxuries would be available, but not taken for granted.

I can’t imagine raising any animals for consumption. I could see myself having a small barn or stable, so I could care for aging animals, giving them the opportunity to peacefully enjoy the rest of their lives.

There would definitely be at least two dogs in my home. I’d get them as pups at the same time, so they could grow into their new space together.

Ahhh . . . I could dream for hours about my life in Amish country. Maybe one day, I’ll take that step.

How would it really play out?

For now, I guess it doesn’t really matter. I’m joining Grace Byler on her quest. She’ll make sure my Amish experience is everything I want it to be and then some.

Anyone ready to join me?

Move That Butt!

2010-04-09T06:11:00.003-04:00

Those thighs, stomach, arms, and the rest of you while you’re at it! You better work it girl!

That’s what I’m telling myself after a challenging period of time and too many pound weight gain to own up to it in numbers here.

I have lots of reasons — and excuses, but it’s time for a change. Really. Time to get up and get out there. Time to go back to good habits and maybe develop a few new ones, too.

As a coach, I help people set realistic goals, explore options, overcome obstacles, establish and stick to practical plans, and accomplish better results then they would on their own. I create a space to talk through challenges and help people focus on opportunities.

I knew I needed to do the same for myself. Without drive and focus, I wouldn’t move forward well, stay on track, and achieve my desired results.

This 40-something is a little older and a lot wiser, and I know what I need to do. More importantly, I know what I will — and won’t — do at this stage of my life to make it happen.

So, here I go again, but this time I’m moving forward with a well thought out plan and everything I need to see it through.

This week, I not only splurged on a pair of Skechers Shape-ups, but I also wore them and walked 90 minutes each day. I’ve also been preparing for a sustainable, long-term change in my eating habits — focusing on what I know works for me.

I’ve already lost two pounds and can’t wait to shed the rest.

Excuses will be banned, and progress will be rewarded. (Yay!)

I already know how much support and encouragement I’ll have, so let me take this opportunity to thank you all in advance.

Got to go . . .

You better work . . . cover girl,

Work it girl . . . give a twirl,

Do your thing on the runway . . .

(Thanks, RuPaul!)

Lose My Number!

2010-04-06T17:05:00.002-04:00

If you’ve been following my blogs or actually know me, then you understand that I’m very forgiving and never hold a grudge.

But, today I have a message to those people who only contact me when they need something. Not surprisingly, the same people are hard to find if someone else is in need.

You may be the first one they call when they want your help, but you’re not even on their list of holiday calls or the sharing of good news.

I’m lucky — truly blessed — to be surrounded by many thoughtful, sensitive, kind, and compassionate people, who often make me forget about those others.

It’s hard to understand why some people are thoughtful while others are insensitive, why some people will always put themselves last and others will always put themselves first.

A few years back, a friend of mine told me a story about the time his sister asked him to read a letter she was about to send an ex-boyfriend. My friend told her she didn’t need any of its content. All she had to say was “lose my number.”

I often think of his story and how most of us never get close to saying what we want or need to say.

So . . . with the wisdom of someone who’s reached the big 4 – 0 and beyond . . . today, I’m saying it.

If you only call me when you need something . . . lose my number.

Good Friends Know What You Need

2010-03-28T19:43:00.004-04:00

Sometimes you need a little time to yourself. Maybe you’re going through something. Maybe you’re going through several somethings.

The last two weeks or so were pretty tough for me. Most of my friends, family, and colleagues were respectful of my need to retreat a bit. Some were not, no matter how nicely I asked. Those are the kind of people who are so selfish they can never break away from putting their needs first, regardless of what’s going around them. Oddly enough, I feel sorry for them, because they’ll never maintain good relationships and have no idea why.

If you’ve been following The 40 Factor, you recently read that my friend, Jill, was nearing her final days. She passed away on Monday, March 22, after a fierce and courageous battle with cancer.

Even though we knew her fight had taken a turn several months ago, and she was no longer responding to treatments, we were still hoping for a miracle. Who doesn’t want his loved one to be the one to beat it against all odds?

Jill wasn’t my first friend about my age to pass away. She was actually my eighth, and I’m only 40. I still can’t believe I’ve lost another young friend.

My heart broke last week, and I was overwhelmed with emotion 24/7 for her family and all her friends.

There are times in life when we add just one more stone to the scale, when it not only tips, but actually topples. This is how I felt. Somehow, in addition to everything else going on in my life, Jill’s passing at such a young age after her intense fight with this cruel disease unnerved my existence.

Now that I’ve had some time to regroup, brush myself off, and stand on my feet again, I want to thank everyone who gave me space, a shoulder or phone to cry on, a hug just when I needed it, and loving support during Jill’s final days and after her passing. Your friendship means the world to me. Thank you.

Erin Go Bragh!

2010-03-17T04:54:00.003-04:00

In New York, everyone’s Irish at least one day each year. That would be today, March 17th, St. Patrick’s Day.

Across New York City, Long Island, and many other areas throughout the United States, today you’ll find a sea of green. Not just parade-goers in green-sequence top hats. But, you’ll find green bagels, green doughnuts, green muffins, green cookies, and green cakes. And, let’s not forget green beer.

Even at 40, for me St. Patrick’s Day is a reminder of one of my greatest childhood misunderstandings. Till I was invited to the first round of our classmates’ Lutheran confirmations, I thought all Christians in the United States were Roman Catholic, and the vast majority of them were from Ireland and Italy.

Growing up on Long Island, what else was I supposed to think?

It’s amazing what we pick up from our surroundings and the decisions we make from our firsthand experiences. I think we’re wiser today and exposed to much more than what’s in our own backyards, but memories of this childhood mistake remind me to be careful not to jump to conclusions.

I’ve never been to the St. Patrick’s Day parade. I don’t think I’ve ever been to any New York City parade or Times Square on New Year’s Eve. I guess joining large, sometimes inebriated crowds on the street in cold weather just isn't my thing. Not when you can watch it in the comfort of your own home, a few feet from a clean bathroom.

For as long as I can remember, my favorite part of this holiday was the Irish-American tradition of corned beef and cabbage. I’ve been making it for years and look forward to it like all holiday fare. This year was no exception.

Most people today don’t know why it’s called corned beef. They’re puzzled when they think about it, since there’s no corn to be found in any version of the dish.

But, in this case, corn doesn’t refer to what immediately pops into your mind. Back in the days before refrigeration, meats were packed in salt or brine (salted water) to preserve them. The coarse salt used in this process was referred to as kernels or corns.

I’ve already packed mine for today’s lunch. I just can’t decide between the green bagel or green doughnut for breakfast.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Mom, Actress, Teacher, Entrepreneur: Sheri Wilcox

2010-03-14T21:00:00.002-04:00

40 and Fabulous: Successful and Inspiring 40 Somethings

Welcome to The 40 Factor’s first interview, bringing you insight into the lives of our peers, advice for challenges we’re facing, and ideas for a fun, meaningful life.

40 and Fabulous — Mom, Actress, Teacher, Entrepreneur: Sheri Wilcox

We’re kicking off 40 and Fabulous: Successful and Inspiring 40 Somethings with an extraordinary individual, who I sometimes think found the secret to have a 30-hour day. Like many of us, she’s living an extremely busy lifestyle — balancing family, work, growth, spirituality, giving back, and so much more. Has she discovered how to have it all and enjoy the ride?

Sheri Wilcox lives in Hollywood, Florida, with her husband of 13 years, Frank; 10-year old daughter, Rebecca; and 5-year old twins, Emily and Christopher. She was born in Long Branch, New Jersey, and moved up and down the east coast by the time she was 11. She attended at least a dozen elementary schools before her family settled down in Elmont, New York, where she developed lifelong friendships.

In July 2008, Sheri started a home-based business with an environmental eCommerce company. Her enthusiasm to help people save money and time, while caring for the environment, is infectious. It’s no wonder she was recently awarded the company’s Best Team Player.

Tell me about your eCommerce business.

It's changed my life. In so many ways, it has simplified my life by eliminating the running around to stores. I really enjoy the convenience of shopping online and appreciate the tremendous savings. The monthly income for my family from this part-time effort has been a blessing. I also discovered so many earth-friendly alternatives and love knowing I’m using products that are safer for my family and better for the environment. My family’s recent experience with one of these amazing eco-friendly products that is designed to heal skin, even after serious burns, is featured on the company website.

It’s been wonderful to help so many relatives and friends save and earn money through this company! I’ve met incredible people, have grown personally and professionally, and am very excited about my future with my online business, as eCommerce is expected to grow to be over a $300 billion industry within the next two years! If anyone would like more information, they can visit my website, www.savewithsheri.com, or contact me at sheribrock@aol.com.

On any given day, you wear many hats. What's your typical day like?

At 6:00 in the morning, I jump in the shower and get ready for the day. By 6:30, the whole house is up, and I’m getting everyone ready, lunches packed, hair combed, teeth brushed, backpacks packed, etc. and everyone out the door by 7:50. We swing by a neighbor's house and pick up two young girls we carpool with. I drop the twins off at their school and then my oldest daughter and her two friends at theirs.

In my two-and-a-half-hour window of free time, I may go to a casting call, teach a Kindermusik class, do a presentation for other members of my team in my eCommerce business, meet with someone who is interested in starting their own part-time eCommerce business and joining my team, volunteer in either of the twin’s classes reading or doing music activities, or help out at my older daughter’s school. Of course, somewhere in that time period, I also need to run to the grocery store, throw in a couple of loads of laundry, return e-mails and phone calls, and do any other chores that need to get done.

Then, at noon, I pick up Emily and Christopher from preschool, take them home for lunch, spend time with them before my oldest daughter comes home from school, and then begin the hustle bustle of after school activities — dance, tennis, piano — before homework, dinner, baths, bedtime stories, and bed!

Although I usually feel like I’m going to collapse from exhaustion at that point, almost always a second wind kicks in, and this is when I get more of my chores around the house done, e-mails returned, bills paid, and any work associated with my eCommerce business completed.

I also forgot to mention that I help my dad with his business, paying bills and doing administrative work. I’m hoping to find someone to replace myself in that position though!

My day usually ends between 11:00 and 11:30.

With such a busy lifestyle, what do you do to unwind or relax?

I love to exercise and read, and between the kids, working, and all the other things I juggle, it's sometimes a challenge to find the time to do either. I love when I can find a spare 30 minutes and throw on my sneakers and go down to the beach for a run along the water. I find that relaxing and energizing all at once.

What's the most satisfying aspect of your life today?

My family. That’s why I love spending great quality time with my husband and children on the weekends and doing things we love, like going to the pool, beach, or park.

What did turning 40 mean to you?

It meant feeling more confident in who I am, living more fully, knowing that I’m exactly where I’m meant to be, and grateful for all the rich experiences up until this point that have helped shape who I am.

What advice do you have for people in their 40s?

To appreciate the wisdom you have acquired up until this point, enjoy and celebrate who you are, truly appreciate your God-given strengths and talents, eat healthy and stay active and, rather than dread aging, embrace it and appreciate the small things in life that bring happiness. Live in the moment, and make the most of each day. Give back to the community; I truly believe when we give, we get back in dividends. Live in a state of gratitude as much as possible. Life throws curve balls at us constantly. However, it’s up to us how we choose to respond. I believe every cloud has a silver lining; it's up to us to find it.

For me personally, my faith in God has helped me get through some tough and challenging times, and I trust it will continue to help me face all that lies ahead. One of the most difficult times in my life was when my son started showing signs of autism at 16-months old. I researched autism and various interventions extensively, sought medical intervention, both conventional and holistic, and tried to be as proactive as possible in finding the best ways to help my son in his development. My faith definitely helped keep me grounded and focused on what I needed to do during a very challenging time, trying to balance my son's special needs, along with the needs of my other two children, my marriage, and my work. My faith also helped me realize I had to accept at some point that I could only do so much, and that I had to surrender and let go and let God, accept the outcome, whatever that may be, and make the very best of it.

I am deeply grateful to say that early intervention proved to be extremely effective in changing the course of my son's development. After a few years of several medical evaluations, much early intervention including physical therapy, speech therapy, occupational therapy, music therapy, along with biomedical intervention using holistic remedies, he is now in a typical preschool, and is a social, happy, bright, and loving little boy, with very few remaining spectrum symptoms.

If I can pass along any bit of wisdom and insight based on my experience, it is to trust your gut. My gut told me something wasn't right with my son at 16 months, even though the doctors initially didn't see it, and I have to believe that because I followed my intuition and gut feeling, and my husband and I intervened at the right time during the window when children on the spectrum can be helped most dramatically, the course of my son's life was forever changed.

If you could do one thing with the “Click” remote, what would it be?

Hmmm . . . there was an acting job I turned down years ago because of another project I was working on. Other friends who took the job went on to have careers on Broadway, and I have often thought I wish I could rewind and would have chosen differently. But, then I think about the path my decision put me on, which led me to my husband, my children, and where I’m at now, and I think it all has happened the way it was meant to happen. I have to believe that with all my past decisions, because every bad decision taught a lesson, opened other doors, and brought me to where I am now.

What’s next?

I feel I am entering a new chapter in my life as my twins start kindergarten next year and my oldest starts middle school. It’ll be the first time in over a decade that I’ll have a stretch of time beyond three hours to myself during the day. I’m looking forward to pursuing and booking more acting work, taking my eCommerce business to a whole new level and, within the next five years, opening a performing arts school in our community that will offer acting, dance, fitness, and art for toddlers through seniors.

I look forward to continue being involved in my children's education and volunteering in their schools. It’ll also be wonderful to travel more as a family as the children get older.

And, now that our children are no longer babies and are becoming more independent, I’m hoping my husband and I will be able to squeeze in a few more date nights once in a while, and perhaps even take our first weekend vacation alone while my parents watch the kids. We have yet to do that since we have had children — nearly eleven years ago!

Contact Sheri Wilcox

E-mail: sheribrock@aol.com
Phone: 954-614-8487
Website: www.savewithsheri.com
Twitter: sheriwilcox

About Sheri Wilcox

Sheri graduated from Adelphi University with a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree in Theatre. Following graduation, she continued to study acting at HB Studios and Stella Adler Conservatory, dance at Steps 74 and Broadway Dance Center, and had the opportunity to do theater, television, commercial, voice-over, and industrial work. She is a member of AFTRA, and has performed in several off-off Broadway shows, musical revues, summer stock productions, a Far East tour, children's theater, and with "Chezzam Entertainment" and "Plays for Living" Theater Company. In addition to Sheri's career in the Performing Arts, she has also worked as an ACE and AFAA certified group fitness instructor and personal trainer for more than 15 years. She has enjoyed teaching fitness and dance classes to students ranging in age from toddlers through seniors in several locations throughout New York, including New York Sports Club, New York Health & Racquet Club, and the 92nd Street Y. Sheri earned a Master of Science degree in Early Childhood Education from Fordham University. Before relocating to South Florida, she was an associate first grade teacher at St. Luke's School in Manhattan. Sheri has also co-written and choreographed "Aesop Rocks," a children's musical, which currently tours throughout elementary schools in New York. Presently, she takes great pleasure in owning an eCommerce business that helps people save time and money by shopping online, teaching Kindermusik music and dance classes, pursuing acting work, and being a mom to her 10-year old daughter, Rebecca, and 5-year old twins, Christopher and Emily.

Don't miss future posts of 40 and Fabulous: Successful and Inspiring 40 Somethings. Stay connected — subscribe or become a Follower of The 40 Factor, or follow Lisa-Michelle on Twitter.

Life’s Lessons From A Heavy Dose Of Perspective

2010-03-10T07:00:00.000-05:00

By now, with 40 years experience, I should have learned many important lessons. By learned I mean know them well and apply them to all I do — all the time.

Sometimes I succeed. Sometimes I forget and lapse.

Last night, I received the horrible, sad news that my friend, who just turned 40 last month, ran out of treatment options for metastatic cancer since chemo had not worked for her in some time.

My thoughts and prayers go out to my brave, strong, and extraordinary friend, Jill, and her family and friends.

Some of life's lessons are easier than others, but they're all important. They make our lives and those of the people around us better.

So, please allow me to use this space to remind myself . . .

Do something meaningful every day
Reach out to those in need
Seek justice for all
Express yourself
Love passionately
Forgive
Be true to yourself
Do more of what you want, less of what you don't
Share your talent
Smile as often as possible

I'm having a hard time finding my smile this morning, but I will dig deep into my spirit and give it my best shot.

Before I do anything else, I'm taking a break to count my blessings and tell the important people in my life how much they mean to me, how much I love them, how much they make my life better.

We can’t get enough of it!

2010-03-03T21:10:00.002-05:00

Delicious, Comforting, Memorable Food

I love the Food Network's "The Best Thing I Ever Ate." What a great concept! Promote your network's celebrities and shows by having them share a little piece of themselves while plugging restaurants across the country.

I also have a feeling there's at least one free meal in it for someone with such endorsements. That's ok. Someone has to make sure the food still tastes and looks good.

When Emeril Lagasse tells me the best thing he ever ate was veal parmagiana at Il Vagabondo in New York City, I immediately google it for location, menu, and pricing, even though the dish didn't look anywhere near the best veal parm I ever had. But, Mr. Lagasse gave it such a passionate endorsement, I know I'll make a date with veal parm destiny soon.

I may send him a note about Long Island's Mother Kelly's. I think they could compete with or even beat his favorite.

Whether Robert Irvine talks about the best mashed potatoes at Parc — and how much that means to a Brit like himself — Ted Allen shares his favorite cupcakes at Butter Lane, or Brian Boitano takes us out to dinner with his parents at House of Prime Rib, I'm hooked.

Sure, I scoff at Ina Garten's choice — meatloaf at The 1770 House in East Hampton. I don't have anything against meatloaf. I'm not too jealous that this amazing restaurant is down the block from her Hampton's home. But, after years of perfecting my secret recipe, I make the best meatloaf I ever ate. Sorry, Ms. Garten.

Shows like these get me thinking — about food, food, and more food.

Could I really pick one? The best one thing I ever ate?

Maybe I could narrow it down to the top 50 favorite things I ever ate. Maybe 25. But, not just one. No!

Hmmm . . .

The kitchen has been off limits to me for almost two months. A back injury has kept me from making all my usual treats. It's been tough, and I'm eager to get back in the saddle.

Maybe this weekend I'll be ready to give it a try. It's been too long, I don't know where to begin. I want it all. Lasagna, cheesecake, meatloaf, creamed spinach, oven-fried chicken, sweet potato pie, spinach puffs . . .

Stop me! Please!

What's one of the best things you ever ate?

What to do with broken resolutions?

2010-02-28T20:05:00.002-05:00

Cut yourself some slack, and get back in the game.

By now, 80 percent of those who made New Year’s resolutions have broken them. Actually, they probably gave up or forgot about them by Valentine’s Day, according to University of Minnesota Professor Marti Hope Gonzalez.

Why? Weren’t these resolutions made to bring about positive change? Wasn’t making a resolution enough to set the wheels of change in motion?

I guess not.

Our challenges with making sustainable change in our lives is explained well by Marion Kramer Jacobs, author of “Take-Charge Living: How to Recast Your Role in Life ... One Scene at a Time."

“We’re hard-wired not to change quickly,” Dr. Jacobs said. “Think of what chaos would ensue if you could snap your finger and change instantly tomorrow. You would be one person today, someone else tomorrow.” (New York Times, “New Year, New You? Nice Try” by Alex Williams.)

Just because you already broke your resolution and know the road may be difficult, don’t give up. The reward will be worth the effort. Give it another shot.

Ten Steps to Keeping Your Resolution And Making Meaningful Change

Desire Change — Make sure you really want to change and are ready to embark on a serious commitment to make it happen.

Define Success — Clarify your goal in specific terms.

Write It Down — Once you know what you’re shooting for, spell it out. Keep it handy, and refer back to it.

Make Your Plan — It’ll be easier to fulfill your resolution if you establish a plan with realistic, simple, and specific goals. Only include steps that you know you’re able and willing to carry out.

Find Support — Depending on your resolution, you may have an easier time staying on track and reaching your goal with support and encouragement by friends, family, or a group of others trying to achieve similar results.

Seek Help — Success isn’t less sweet if someone gives you a hand. Seek professional help to get you going or keep you on track. Whether you’re looking to lose weight, quit smoking, get organized, write a book, learn something new, get out of debt, spend more time with family, or just about anything else, there are organizations with the knowledge and expertise to help you succeed.

Keep Track — Regularly review your journey to success, considering accomplishments and obstacles.

Be Flexible — Don’t get stuck. If your plan isn’t working for you, figure out what will and modify it.

Celebrate Your Success — Acknowledge your accomplishments, big and small. Don’t wait till you’ve fulfilled it all. Celebrate your progress.

Know What’s Next — Have a plan for what happens — and what you need to do — when you fulfill your resolution and meet your goal. Figure out how you will maintain your success.

Depending on what you’re looking to accomplish, you may want to partner with a certified coach to help you define your goals, create a plan, and stay on track.

Group coaching opportunities are available in many communities and often less expensive than one-on-one coaching. Check out what’s offered at meetup groups, libraries, community centers, and colleges.

Don’t give up on your resolution — and yourself. Change is hard, but you can do it. Take it one step at a time, and keep your eye on the prize.

Quick and Easy Nutella Mousse

2010-02-25T08:34:00.004-05:00

Quick and Easy Recipes
So You Can Get Back To Your Harried Life

Kudos to everyone who made the Quick and Easy Sweet and Spicy Chicken, and thanks for your compliments on the dish.

The 40 Factor’s Quick and Easy Recipes are all about helping us spend less time in the kitchen and having more time for everything else.

This week, my good friend and fellow coach, Elizabeth Cassidy, mentioned her newfound love of Nutella on Facebook, which instigated a spontaneous discussion with many of her friends, all fans of this delectable treat.

Growing up with French parents, I was introduced early on to the world’s alternative to peanut butter. I distinctly remember childhood trips to Paris including Nutella and bread sandwiches. If I wasn’t more in love with croissant and petit pain au chocolat, I would have demanded Nutella sandwiches for every breakfast. (Petit pain au chocolat is called chocolate croissant by Americans — even though it is not crescent shaped.)

Let’s give credit where credit’s due . . . Nutella is a hazelnut spread that was created by Pietro Ferrero in Northern Italy in the 1940s as an alternative to chocolate due to the shortage of cocoa during World War II.

Quick and Easy Nutella Mousse

13 ounce jar of Nutella
3 cups heavy (or whipping) cream, separated

Boil a pot of water. Put the closed container of Nutella into the boiling water for 10 minutes. While it’s boiling, beat 2 cups of heavy cream with an electric mixer (unless you’re Amish) till it’s stiff. In a different bowl, mix the melted Nutella and remaining 1 cup of heavy cream till completely combined. Fold the Nutella mixture into the whipped cream. Chill for at least an hour.

Fancy Alternative: Make individual parfaits, layering Nutella mousse, raspberries or strawberries, and whipped cream. Top with chocolate shavings.

Have a favorite dish and want a Quick and Easy Recipe? Write lisa-michelle@the40factor.com.

It's ok to have some fun.

2010-02-22T22:13:00.005-05:00

Shhh! I won't tell anyone.

When did it become wrong to kick back and relax? have a good time? do nothing for a change?

Too many of us 40 somethings are caught in busy, hectic, and stressful routines. Even worse, some of those around us are caught in a my life is more difficult, more challenging, more stressful than yours competition.

Guess what? There’s no prize for running yourself ragged. Trophies aren't given for the most stressed out or most exhausted.

Downtime, and even playtime, are essential to living a healthy, balanced life. When you set aside time to unwind, you not only have a good time, but you also disconnect from stress, release tension, recharge your batteries, and get ready to face the world with a fresh outlook.

For many, life gets more stressful as we approach the big 4 - 0. Some of our stress factors are obvious — bills, demanding jobs, relationships, health, family, aging parents, job insecurity, rise in cost of living, or getting older itself.

Now is the time to make sure to do something about it. Stress — and living an unbalanced life — takes its toll too quickly on all of us. It effects our health, relationships, and every aspect of our lives.

Let’s face it. Stress is coming at us from all directions. We work hard and are caught in a culture of workoholism — and not just in the workplace. Most people I know have more obligations after their traditional work hours than they ever imagined. And, they’re not setting aside time to unwind and relax.

We can’t ignore our responsibilities, but it’s time to break the cycle and have some fun. Giving yourself some much needed downtime — or playtime — will give you more energy and maybe even a brighter outlook.

Don’t put it off any longer. Plan something fun for this week. Figure out when you have time and what you want to do. Make sure it’s positive and releases stress. Parents: Get a sitter, or take turns watching the kids.

There’s so much to do. If you’ve neglected yourself long enough and need ideas, here are some easy and inexpensive ways to relax and have fun:

Go to a batting cage or driving range
Browse a new exhibit at a gallery or museum
Take a walk in a park or on the boardwalk
Visit a zoo or botanical garden
Catch a movie
Take a long, scenic drive and listen to your favorite music
Attend a cooking class
Enjoy a yoga or meditation session
Find a quiet place and start reading the book that’s been calling you
Visit a winery

Need some other choices? Check out Time Out New York's "Free things to do in New York City."

OK, if you're not in New York, you'll have to find another resource, but maybe you can still get an idea or two.

Hope you're ready to have some fun. I am!

Tell The Butcher, Sadie Is Selling Her House

2010-02-19T06:05:00.006-05:00

Networking isn’t a new concept. The world has revolved around it since the beginning of time. Some of the venues have changed, and many new ones have popped up, especially in recent years.

Back in the day, a town’s butcher, doctor, and clergy were great networking resources. Why? Your community was your main network, and they regularly had contact with almost everyone, shared information, and made connections. It was natural to tell them you were selling or looking to buy something, your family business had new products, you learned a new technique, you needed to borrow equipment, or anything that you would benefit from being shared. People were happy to relay information that others could benefit from, too.

My daughter graduated and is looking for a teaching position. If you hear anything, let me know.

Have you heard that Ingalls closed the lumber shop? He’s taking over the general store and restaurant. People are going to line up to have his wife’s rhubarb pie!

I just came from the butcher. He said the Smith’s house burned down last night. Everyone got out, but they lost everything. They’re staying with Mrs. Jones. People are dropping off clothes and toys this week. Father Jim is starting a collection.

Most of the world’s success stories have some aspect of behind-the-scenes networking. Nothing beats a good connection in Hollywood or on a college admissions board.

Today, we don’t have to rely as much on others as intermediaries, although an introduction or respectable connection can catapult us in the right direction and help promote our networking purposes.

When we look back, this may be called the Age of Networking or Social Media Era. You can’t make it through the day without seeing or hearing about it. Spread the word. Share your ideas. Connect, connect, connect!

But, hold on a moment before you launch your Twitter presence or create a LinkedIn profile. The most successful networkers move forward with a keen sense of purpose.

Why are you networking? There are more reasons and combinations than you’d think. Not everyone is looking for a job. Seriously.

Establish networking goals to meet your needs. You know how you work best. If you need a formal plan and schedule, create them. If you don’t, at least think it through.

Know what you’re going to say and how you’re going to deliver your message.

Where you network should be the best places to achieve your goals. Don’t waste your time. This is true for all forms of networking, not just through social media. Plan your association memberships and event attendance just as carefully.

Don’t forget about traditional networking — professional associations, alumni groups, social organizations, and even your house of worship. These are great venues to meet new people.

It’s not, however, enough to include someone on your contact, follower, or friend list. Great networkers have a solid method of maintaining contact and building relationships. They also understand how to stay in touch, but not become a nuisance.

For the average Joe — even if he’s destined for greatness — the benefits of quality connections far outweigh quantity when it comes to most networking purposes. OK, my ego wouldn’t mind 1,000 instant followers on The 40 Factor and Twitter. But, unless my networking purpose is to pamper my ego, I’ll have to focus on my goals.

If you haven’t yet ventured into online social networking, don’t be afraid. It won’t bite. Get your feet wet by browsing what other people are doing. When you’re ready, make your plan and start out slow. Stick to your plan, even if you hit a few bumps in the road. Ask for help, or attend a workshop. You’ll be tweeting and connecting in no time. There may even be a blog in your future.

Ready to connect? Follow me on Twitter for career tips, networking advice, and so much more.

Quick and Easy Recipes

2010-02-17T03:57:00.006-05:00

The 40 Factor's Quick and Easy Recipes
So You Can Get Back To Your Harried Life

Welcome to the first installment of The 40 Factor’s Quick and Easy Recipes, which are designed to help us spend less time in the kitchen and have more time for everything else.

We’re living in times when we can’t have enough or do enough. A balanced life is hard to come by, but it’s in our reach. Success comes from understanding our needs and making choices.

Many of us prefer homemade food, desserts, and snacks, but we feel we don’t have the time or know-how to do it ourselves.

It’s time to debunk that myth. Some of the dishes we’re going to introduce here will only take as much time as it would to go pick them up. And, ours will taste better. When you do it yourself, you not only can make it the way you like it, but you also know exactly what’s in it.

Quick and Easy Sweet and Spicy Chicken

1 chicken, cut into pieces
1 cup all natural apricot fruit spread
1 tablespoon garlic powder
1 tablespoon red pepper flakes
1/2 teaspoon salt (optional)
1 tablespoon Tabasco Sauce (optional)

Preheat the over to 350° F. Rinse and dry chicken. Coat pan(s) with nonstick cooking spray. Place chicken in pan(s) with the skin facing up. Whisk together remaining ingredients. Spread sauce over chicken. Bake uncovered for one hour or until chicken is fully cooked.

Serve with instant brown or white rice.

Hints: Use garlic powder, not granulated garlic. Use all natural, no sugar added fruit spread. It's sweet enough. Use less salt when adding Tobasco Sauce.

Healthy Alternative: Use 8 skinless chicken thighs instead of whole chicken with skin.

Not-So-Spicy Alternative: Omit red pepper flakes and Tabasco Sauce. Replace with 1/4 – 1/2 teaspoon white pepper.

Have a favorite dish and want a Quick and Easy recipe? Write lisa-michelle@the40factor.com. If possible, your dish's Quick and Easy alternative will be presented on The 40 Factor.

What's cooking in your kitchen tonight?

LOVE 201: The World’s Greatest Love Stories

2010-02-14T10:00:00.012-05:00

Who cares about the world’s greatest love stories?

We do!

Whether they’re real or fictional, we want to know everything about them. How did they meet? Was it love at first sight? When did they first kiss? What did they do to keep their love alive?

This week, I saw an adorable news story on Channel 7's Eyewitness News about couples who renewed their vows — after 50 years of marriage. One happy bride and groom were tying the not again after 67 years. Wow! As divorce rates continue to rise, I watched these couples in amazement, even though I recognized they were raised in different times with different values and expectations.

But, we've learned that marriage isn’t synonymous with love, and love often has nothing to do with marriage.

Last summer, I shared my thoughts and declared myself an authority on love in LOVE 101. Now, I'm asking who are the greatest lovers of all time. Maybe we can a learn a thing or two from them, too.

Who should make it to our list of greatest love stories?

Romeo and Juliet — William Shakespeare’s young and passionate lovers who try to break free from prejudice and family control. Unfortunately, their story doesn’t end well.

June Carter and Johnny Cash — Wow! What a great real-life, modern-day love story. They meet. He’s immediately taken by her. They’re both married. They run into each other often on the music circuit. He wants her. She wants none of that. He wants her. He really, really wants her. They become famous. He has problems with drugs and alcohol. She helps him. Their love grows. He wants to marry her. He asks her again and again. She refuses. Then, one day, he professes his love to her and proposes during a performance. The rest was history. (If you haven’t seen Walk The Line yet, you’re missing out. Great story. Great performances.)

Cleopatra and Mark Antony — Another case of passionate love at first sight. They wed against others’ wishes. Unfortunately, their fate was similar to Romeo and Juliet’s when Antony heard false reports of Cleopatra’s death and took his own life, only to be followed by her inevitable suicide.

Joanne Woodward and Paul Newman — This relationship is often called Hollywood’s longest and most romantic. They married after his divorce from his first wife and were married for 50 years. In an interview with Hello! Magazine several months before his death, Mr. Newman talked about love, “Joanne has always given me unconditional support in all my choices and endeavors, and that includes my race car driving, which she deplores. To me, that’s love.”

Elinor Dashwood and Edward Ferrars — Jane Austen’s not-so-young, duty-bound lovers, who met after he was engaged to another in Sense and Sensibility. Lucky for them, the other woman released him from his commitment, when she realized he would not inherit the family fortune and ended up marrying his younger brother. Elinor and Edward were free to marry and spend the rest of their lives together.

Rachel and Jacob — (Yes, from The Bible.) Another story of love at first sight, but with a twist and, most importantly, a happy ending. When Jacob asked Rachel’s father to marry his daughter, he was told he needed to work for him for seven years. Jacob agreed, but on his wedding night was tricked into marrying Rachel’s older sister, Leah. After realizing how upset Jacob was, his father-in-law agreed to allow him to marry Rachel after working another seven years. What man today would work for his future father-in-law for seven years to get married?

Thanks to Rachel and Jacob’s love story and some underhanded trickery, during Jewish wedding ceremonies, grooms check under their brides’ veils to make sure that history doesn’t repeat itself.

Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy — Perhaps Jane Austen’s most famous love story — Pride and Prejudice — is about an intelligent, witty young woman of modest means and an arrogant, aristocrat from a prestigious family. He takes to her early on, but he fights his love for her and keeps it a secret. By the time he declares it, she despises him. But, with the many twists and turns of their lives, Miss Bennett learns of his kind nature and warm heart. She, too, falls deeply in love, and they live happily ever after. (I certainly like to think so.)

So . . . What’s your favorite love story?

You’re Never Too Old For A Snow Day

2010-02-11T06:39:00.003-05:00

The Tri-State Area was hit with another snow storm yesterday. As has become the norm, all news venues hyped up their coverage. As it approached, we were told to brace ourselves for a blizzard with a large — but unknown — amount of accumulation, gusty winds, icy roads, near-zero visibility, and possible power outages.

On Long Island, supermarkets were packed with frantic shoppers. Were they buying water, flashlights, batteries, and duck tape? No, those days are gone.

Carts were overflowing with soda, cookies, cakes, potato chips, pretzels, ice cream, baguette, fondue, olives, and everything you need for your next party. The only thing missing was a snowman piñata.

The buzz about this storm was so intense expectations of business closings grew. Not only did kids want a day off from school, but we also wanted a day to make snow angels or relax in our warm homes with a cup of hot chocolate.

Throughout the blizzard, Facebook and Twitter were flooded with posts about businesses closing or staying open, who braved the storm, who was working from home, and who needed to take a personal day if unable to get to the office.

Many news reports focused on telecommuting as the best means for companies to continue with business as usual and send their employees a clear message that their safety was paramount and their work ethic was trusted.

Although people with telecommuting privileges and those who lived within walking distance from their offices were grateful, it became very clear that all anyone really wanted was a snow day.

Whether we’re all kids at heart or just wanted a break from our intense 24/7 lives, we hoped this storm could give us what we needed. Did it?

How did you spend your day?

The 40 Factor

2010-02-09T06:00:00.012-05:00

Welcome to The 40 Factor — your place for all things about life after the big 4 – 0.

The 40 Factor is our forum to talk about careers, family, money, philanthropy, love, spirituality, food, stress, happiness, volunteering, the environment, success, and so much more.

It’s all about us. We’re 40 something and living lives we could never have dreamed about when we grew up. It’s exciting and sometimes a bit scary.

We were told we could be anything and were encouraged to follow our dreams. No one back then realized the full impact of the continuous search for happiness and satisfaction. No one imagined that most people would have more than 10 employers before retirement. Many of us are on our second or even third careers, brining new meaning to re-invention. For some, this is a burden; for others, it’s a gift.

On our journey to the big 4 – 0, the more things changed, the more they stayed the same. We hoped and prayed for world peace. Maybe we even came close a few times, but global unrest and terrorism still plague us at today. We witnessed extraordinary miracles of science — from heart transplants to in vitro fertilization — but some medical conditions, as well as newfound diseases, continue to baffle us.

We’ve seen more technological advances than we could possibly remember — from rotary to touch-tone to mobile phones, from seven channels with antennas on every roof to satellite dishes and cable TV with more stations than one can count.

Technology also gave us the ability to stay connected 24/7 but, at the same time, we’re now expected to be connected — all day, every day. Try not returning an e-mail at work, updating your Facebook status, or texting back a friend within the acceptable amount of time in your circle. You’ll receive more “r u ok?” or “haven’t heard back” messages than you have time to answer.

Living a well-balanced life never took this much effort and never was this important. It’s hard to carve out the much needed time to take care of ourselves and refresh our minds, bodies, and spirits. But, we know that when we lose this crucial balance, everything has the potential to fall apart.

Even with the demands of today’s busy lives, we’re getting more involved than ever before and teaching future generations the importance of giving back — whether feeding the hungry at home or halfway around the world, caring for the environment, protecting endangered species, joining the fight against cancer, or supporting many other causes.

Experiencing the recent economic crisis firsthand, we’re dealing with money and credit much differently, and we’re more concerned about our financial futures, retirement, and even social security than we expected at this stage of our lives. What’ll be left for us? All we know now is that nothing is certain any more.

There’s so much going on in our lives and so much to learn from one another.

So . . . get ready to listen — and talk — about all of our concerns and interests. Share your thoughts right here, and let us know what’s on your mind.

Welcome to The 40 Factor.